Making your tummy warm since 1958 but now it's trying to kill you!

Fear the noodle!

Instant noodle soups have gained sudden notoriety, because apparently NPR's Planet Money couldn't find any other news fit to report on, because said delicious treats pose a potential threat to hungry people.

When will the sensationalism stop?

Of course ramen, Cup o' Noodles (the former name), and anything else you add boiling water to poses a potential threat. Swiss Miss better watch her pretty little ass because the wolves are looking for any ol' carcass to throw to a lawsuit-hungry audience.

Most of the injuries that happen with the instant noodle brands happen to children. Anything that hurts a child is awful, but...is it really the styrofoam cup's fault? (Insert Seth Meyer's voice here...Really!?) Do companies really need to revamp their whole system in order to adapt to society's lack of practical knowledge and coordination...Really!?

Throughout my lifetime I have spilled countless ounces of dangerous liquids on kitchen floors, car consoles, and boat decks but have never ever lost a drop of delicious broth from an instant meal. Do I have the coordination of a Cirque Du Soleil performer? I should say not. I was just taught to keep hot liquids on a level surface. While many lessons I learned just kind of vanished into nothingness that basic knowledge of be very careful with stuff that can burn the heck out of you sort of stuck with me. Simple right?

Yes, it is simple. Why does something that seems so simple become news? I have an idea...

Poor parenting. If, as reported some years ago, elementary school children are having oral sex parties then I'm led to believe that some practical lessons aren't being taught in the home. Why are the instant noodle companies being called out and not the parents who didn't properly teach their children how to handle hot liquids? Yes, accidents happen even when a parent is around but if Cup o Noodles burns become newsworthy could there be an underlying issue?

Instant noodles have been around since 1958. I guess the lesson of putting dangerous liquids on a level surface, which was routinely taught in the houses and elementary schools I stepped foot in, has been replaced by App Development for the IPhone and Filmmaking. Your sixth grader is a whiz at his or her Iphone and can edit a 10 minute short film but the poor thing cannot pour burning water into a styrofoam cup without needing a skin graph. Why are children the majority of burn victims in this modern epidemic? If instant noodles are the origin of such newsworthy finger pointing why wasn't this reported before? Did Planet Money approach the story from the best angle? How many more questions can I pose to you, my faithful and loving audience?

For most of my life I have enjoyed watching the news. When CNN and The Weather Channel came along I thought they were two of the greatest inventions ever. When I lived in Charleston, S.C. my buddies and I would spend hours in front of the television watching hurricanes move up the coast and planning our surf outings. 9/11 had me glued to CNN. I thought their reporting on everything that was going on was stellar. Unfortunately, something has happened along the way and no news now means need news.

This summer there wasn't an media outlet that didn't do anything it could to instill impending peril in the lives of millions when covering the earthquake on the East Coast and Hurricane Irene a few days later. Wolf Blitzer and Jim Cantore reached Marty Bass level on the annoyance scale when they focused more on an Escape From New York type strategy rather than getting to the real story that was about to occur in New Jersey and Vermont. The best thing to happen throughout the whole coverage was when the guy in Virginia Beach mooned the camera as the reporter was trying to stir up the doom factor. That naked behind was the best message sent to contemporary journalists and the timing was priceless. YouTube it if you haven't seen it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cdFjMQa7No

Now if I want to be informed I go to the newspaper. Network news seems to have lost a lot of its integrity. As a kid I thought Walter Cronkite was one of the most honest men I had ever laid eyes on yet never met. Peter Jennings dying of lung cancer did more to help me quit smoking than watching the suffering of those closer to me. I used to love hearing both the good and the bad from well-informed professional journalists. I find it very interesting that I, like many others, now turn on Comedy Central if I want to watch good reporting. Hopefully NPR doesn't spiral down the same path as many other news agencies.