Rahm says you play you pay...now stop crying about it

Posted by ONLINE on Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Some residents of Chicago are up in arms over the 'nickel and dime' increases that are to result from Mayor Emanuel's new budget. The Mayor could have taken the easy way out and just raised taxes across the board. What is he supposed to do to try and pull the city out of the mire of debt brought on by past administrations? Paying more for anything right now is the last thing anybody wants to read about in the newspaper or hear about on the evening news but it is the reality. I wish I could come up with a plan that would fix all the economic woes but my theatre arts degree doesn't quite qualify me or aide me to do so.
But I do have some opinions on the matter...

Fines are going up if you don't keep your yard neat and you park illegally. If you don't do what you are supposed to do you will be fined a heftier sum than last year. Obviously you could afford to pay those fines last year because you did those things. You broke laws. You let that abandoned lot you picked up as investment in a dilapidated neighborhood get all overgrown and trash ridden because you were too lazy to go out there and keep your sh*t tight. Now you have to straighten up the property and get rid of the rats that have invaded your yard and the property of the neighbors who might live nearby or you will pay the city a fine. Good show, Mr. Mayor!!

If you don't park according to the way the law is written you will have to pay more. So park the right way and don't worry about it. If you push the issue and maybe duplicate a residential zone parking sticker 4 times in one week, you could get caught. (My record is 3 times in one week!) You get caught; you pay up. Where is the wrong in that?

Here are my two favorites: fines go up for vehicles impounded for arrests and parking in handicap spots. There should be no limits to these fines. If you get caught driving under the influence you should pay at least 5000 dollars to get your car back. So what if it takes you a year to pay it all off in order to get your car back. You don't deserve to drive anyway. You put other peoples' lives in danger. Chicago has a wonderful public transportation system that you should have taken home after you drank 8 pints of stout at the office Christmas party.

If you park in a handicap spot, even if it's for 5 seconds just so you could run in and return that movie to the red box you should be caned as well as fined 500 dollars (or whatever the current fine may be). If you drive your grandmama's car to Game Stop and she stays home but you use her placard to park in a handicap spot then you should be fined, caned, and have your car impounded for an arrest. Don't cheat the system and you do not have a thing to worry about. If you do decide to go for it, well, I hope your wallet is thicker than mine. Are you that lazy that you can't walk from the far end of the parking lot to the store? Liter and parking in handicap spots rub me the wrong way. I don't think there should be any limits to the fines imposed on people who break these two laws. Laziness is a great reason to jack up the fines.

People are also fretting about raising the taxes on alcohol and tobacco. Raise those taxes all you want I say. Neither of those are necessities; they are luxuries. If you want a six pack of Bud then a little pinch of Skoal after that is your choice so don't bitch about paying the price, whatever it is. If you don't like it go have a can of "pop." Oh, "pop" is taxed too. A delicious can of Dr. Pepper is not needed to make it through the day. Water will suffice and it is better for you; but who needs that...

Eli Mongrel and Arthur Brown have to have special licenses if they are to remain in tact and reside in homes within the city limits. That's the law so it has to be followed or I'll get a ticket walking them through the neighborhood. They have their nuts licenses. (Thank God they are Gracie's dogs so she has to pay that stupid fee.)

The election of Mayor Emanuel is by no means akin to the Second Coming. There are the red-light and speed cameras. Those means are just plain totalitarianism. There are some police officers who get so comfortable in their jobs that they gain a tremendous amount of weight and therefore are unable to police the city at 100%. Can these select few effectively patrol the streets and enforce the new curfew rules? Hell no; they can't catch some speedy crumbsnatchers but they can sit behind a hedge and run a radar gun. Dehumanizing law enforcement is flat out wrong. What's wrong with assigning police officers to spend a majority of the time near schools? Is it that much more cost effective to put in cameras rather than have a human element in sight of children, parents, and perps?  The Mayor would do the city a better service by getting rid of machines and improving his methods of communicating with the Chicago Police Department.

Cities and states are in turmoil. There is no way around having to suffer the consequences other than expatriating. For the most part I am a fan of Mayor Emanuel. While not perfect, and what politician is, he is looking at alternative resources to collect money for the city. He is going to penalize people for trying to beat the system. Good! That is where the money should come from. I have broken many a law in my time EXCEPT for parking in a handicap spot. The thought has never crossed my mind. Each time I pushed the envelope, well most every time, I knew that if I got caught I, and my parents, would have to suffer some consequences. (Sorry again, Mom.) Mayor Emanuel and the city of Chicago sure missed out on me not growing up in Cook County. I'm sure a few roads in Virginia and Maryland were re-paved due to my indiscretions. I am confident that all the rule breakers in Chicago will rise to the occasion and some of those potholes on North Avenue will be paved in the very near future...or Mayor Emanuel will take his family to Barbados for Christmas.

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