How can this song still be on the charts?

Posted by ONLINE on Monday, November 22, 2010

I do not always keep a firm grasp of the English language but at least I put forth my best effort and attempt to adhere to the proper rules of usage. Frank Conroy, the former director of the Writers' Workshop at the University of Iowa stated that in contemporary writing all works needed to have a combination of four ingredients: meaning, sense, brevity, and clarity. Some exceptions are allowed and some rules are often broken without distraction, but there are limits. If I recall correctly, the limits especially apply when it comes to one's writing making sense. In the song "Like a G6", by the music group The Far East Movement, the envelope of the artistic license is pushed well beyond the edge of acceptability. I have a hard time grasping how the hook of the song makes any sense. However, I am obviously in the minority because the popularity of song kept it in the top ten on Itunes for quite some time. During the week of September 29, 2010, "Like a G6" even reached number one. The standards in our modern society are reaching some frightening lows.

Very few pop songs annoy me. I can keep the radio tuned to any station that plays pop music and suffer through the garbage to get to artists I can tolerate like Katy Perry, Justin Timberlake, BOB, Taylor Swift (as long as she is not singing live), and even Justin Bieber. I don't necessarily like all of these artists but I can sit through one of their songs. "Like a G6" sends me into conniption fits from the first beat, then comes that annoying hook...

Poppin bottles in the ice like a blizzard
When we drink we do it right gettin slizzard

Am I wrong? With lyrics like these how can this song still be on the charts?

When I think of a blizzard I think of frozen particles hitting the earth rather hastily. I'm afraid if the Far East Movement started popping their bottles on the ice in any way nearly associated with a blizzard-type effect the glass might shatter. Their blizzard-esque intent, figuratively, might have been to mean lots of bottles hitting the ice for all in attendance at the club. Whatever the implication of the writer might be, I have a difficult time accepting it. If they had changed "like" to "it's a"I would be able to somewhat tolerate the song, until I heard the next line.

I do not think there is anything more offensive than some skinny hipster chick trying to rap/sing a new word into the English language. "Slizzard" might be the dumbest attempt in the history of the arts. Other artist have been able to do so successfully. Snoop Dogg used his charm and talent as a rapper to bring his linguistically-pleasing creations into the mainstream. Plenty of times I tried to be hip twisting my fingers into awkward positions while answering {fo' shizzle my nizzle} to many questions over the years. Snoop Dogg has a gift of making words flow together in a way that sounds pleasing. The flow is phonetically pleasing as well. Dev Tailes' abilities are not even comparable to Snoops in her contribution to "Like a G6." However, she displays a strong business sense with her contribution to the song. The young lady probably won't have to worry about paying her bills for some time.

Maybe I am just old and getting grumpier. I am getting fed up with mainstream culture (meaning what is overly popular among the masses) influencing our society in a negative way. Yes, I love to be entertained by copious amounts of less-than-cerebral material in many genres of entertainment. This weekend I watched a few minutes of VH1 hoping to catch a glimpse of Katy Perry in her video for "Teenage Dream." I love that song; I love looking at her, but after four horrendous videos and an endless amount of commercials I could not wait any longer. I switched over to Lidia's Italy so I would maybe learn how to make a new pasta dish.

What I saw on VH1 made my eyes hurt. Hearing "Like a G6" when I'm driving makes my head hurt. Time to go back to vinyl for a while. This week I am going shopping for a turntable so I can listen to music that was created with care and attention to detail. I don't know what is scarier, how old I am getting or how bad contemporary music is? I will say this: Katy Perry was robbed last night for the Artist of the Year award on that award show last night, whichever one it was...

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